The Case of Missing You
by onceuponafanfiction1
Summary: CS AU. Emma became sheriff. She moved on from the heartbreak Killian Jones gave her after he moved to Europe. Seven years later, Killian returns, and Emma discovers that her ex, Neal, is out and about and on the city's most wanted list. What happens when her ex lover and her ex boyfriend pop into her life at the same time? Rated M for future chapters and language.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: New fic for all you CaptainSwan lovers! I think this has the potential for a lot, so let me know if you're in on this journey with me.**

 **XOXO**

* * *

THE CASE OF MISSING YOU

* * *

 _September of 2007_

" _Are you finally gonna ask her out? You've been making eyes all summer." Liam asked. He elbowed his brother as they walked down the school hallways, "Come on, it's my senior year; at least make it worth the while."_

 _Killian shook his head, "I'm not sure if she's that much into me."_

 _Her tall frame and slender body were like of a Victoria's secret model. Her green eyes had a small speck on silver shining in them. She had long, wavy blonde hair, so smooth and silky, almost as if it was tailored from gold fabric. She had a light pale skin which made her beautiful pink lips stick out. Her cheeks were rouged and she was dressed in a pair of black skinny jeans, a white shirt, and a red leather jacket._

 _He swallowed loudly as he stopped in the middle of the hallway, "I don't think I can do this."_

" _Grow a pair and be a man!" Liam said before shoving his brother in front of Emma Swan. She turned quickly, scared by the close space they were in. Her eyebrow raised confidently and a small smile began to form as Killian smiled._

" _Hey, Emma."_

 _He had rich chocolate hair that had tousled griminess which promised finesse. He had distinct cheekbones and an angular jaw, his pale skin made him look devilishly handsome. He had strong arched brows and eyelashes so thick, it could be illegal. And then his eyes - they were deep and catastrophic, a vivid dark blue as a great body of water that softly melted into a milky green. She paused with her mouth open, mesmerizing his delicious features before she spoke._

" _Killian, hey, I haven't seen you since June. Where have you been?" Emma said, closing her locker and leaning against it._

 _He shrugged, "Just hanging out. Missed you."_

 _She blushed, "Missed you too. Now, what did you need?"_

" _Are you free this Friday? I wanna go out," he stuttered, "With you."_

" _I thought you'd never ask." she smiled as she rubbed his shoulder, before the bell rang and they separated._

* * *

September of 2016

She shuffled through her notebooks, trying to find the notes she took on a past murder case. Even though she had organized her file cabinets twice a week, it was still somehow always messy and out of order. Emma pulled out the file for September of 2010, before rummaging through it and ripping out a crumpled up piece of yellow paper. She read her notes aloud to try and spark some memory, but nothing was working.

With an angry growl she threw the paper back in the file, then sighed. Then, she reached for it again, grabbing a handful of papers now, and pulled out a random piece of old, grey paper.

On it, was written a note by herself in November 2010. It read:

 _Dear Killian,_

 _I'm writing this letter to possibly get rid of some of my grief. These past few months without you have been the worst of my entire life. I know this will never get to you and you will never read it, because I'm not sending it to you. But I needed to get my feelings down on paper so they wouldn't be stuck in my heart. Here goes nothing._

 _I've been looking for you again and still I cannot find you. My eyes wander off in the blue sea and in the silky mantel of the sky in search of a glimpse of your eyes, a glimpse of your much needed presence. Everything blue in this world reminds me of your sweet, deep eyes. I miss you more and more with every memory of you, at all times, but more so when I'm feeling lonely and distant. The love I feel for you is honest and true, in the exact same proportion as the sea is deep and the sky is infinite. And the immense, empty galactic space is the dimension of how much I miss you. I wish I were a God and I wish I could gather all the pleasures that I take from your presence. I wish I could gather in my soul all the affection with which you strengthen me and I wish you would never deprive me of your big smile and those amazing blue eyes of yours that always seem to have the ability to warm up and calm my heart. I need to see you again fast. I need our eyes to meet so I can see the magic, the truth and the affection reflected in those kind, beautiful eyes of yours._

 _I miss you._

 _Love,_

 _Emma_

Her mouth dropped at the sight of the letter. It brought back terrible memories.

* * *

 _November of 2010_

" _Hey Killian, ew no, that sounds disgusting," she sighed and crumpled up the piece of paper, "Killian, hey. That sounds even worse."_

 _She threw the paper into the pile she had on the ground. A tear fell from her eye as she sighed again and took out another piece to write on._

" _I still can't believe you're gone," she shook her head and tore the paper up fast, "That sounds like he's dead."_

 _Quickly, she grabbed another piece of paper and started to write her feelings straight from her heart, "I miss you. I miss your eyes. I miss your laugh. I miss your corny and dirty jokes. I miss you slapping me when I go for an extra cookie. I miss your smile and the ways you make me smile. I miss how you dance at parties and how you make me dance with you. I miss you. I miss you, Killian."_

 _Another tear fell down her cheek, "No."_

 _In another second, the paper was crumpled and thrown to the ground, and another was set for her to write on._

 _She took in a deep breath and let out a shallow one, before she began to write, "Dear Killian, I've been looking for you again and still I cannot find you. My eyes wander off in the blue sea and in the silky mantel of the sky in search of a glimpse of your eyes, a glimpse of your much needed presence. Everything blue in this world reminds me of your sweet, deep eyes. I miss you more and more with every memory of you, at all times, but more so when I'm feeling lonely and distant. The love I feel for you is honest and true, in the exact same proportion as the sea is deep and the sky is infinite. And the immense, empty galactic space is the dimension of how much I miss you. I wish I were a God and I wish I could gather all the pleasures that I take from your presence. I wish I could gather in my soul all the affection with which you strengthen me and I wish you would never deprive me of your big smile and those amazing blue eyes of yours that always seem to have the ability to warm up and calm my heart. I need to see you again fast. I need our eyes to meet so I can see the magic, the truth and the affection reflected in those kind, beautiful eyes of yours."_

 _The paper was wet by the time she finished writing. She missed him - him and everything about him._

* * *

April of 2017

Emma stepped down off the ladder after taking the last ornament off the tree. It had been four months since Christmas, and she had made no effort to take down any decorations. She had been too busy with work - the days at the station had been filled with murder investigations, robberies, suspect interrogations and just plain, boring paperwork, with her parents - who still bother her about only going to college for two years and becoming a policewoman, and with her personal issues - which include having no social, love or sex life. Not only had she been tied down with these ongoing altercations, but she also had her ex-boyfriend, Graham Humbert, up her ass trying to get back together. Her life was a mess.

She sighed as she packed the the box of glass ornaments away in a storage container, one of the many that still needed to get packed and put away in her storage unit. Christmas season wasn't always this miserable. Her past Christmases consisted of cookie making, tree shopping, family photo shoots, gift giving, and memories - not listening to jazzy blues while taking down the decorations four months later. Christmas was supposed to be a time of joy and happiness, family and friends, and love and festivities.

Yeah, right. Her Christmas was shit. Her parents refused to come down this year, because 'Neal needed to spend his first Christmas at home'. And Emma wasn't allowed to come visit because 'she'd probably ruin the spirit with her nasty attitude and Scrooge-like demeanor'.

With another sigh, she went on her tiptoes and pulled the wreath off her front door. She laughed to herself and remembered when she first got that wreath - she had handmade it with her friend in eighth grade and gave it to her mother as a gift. Her mother gifted it back to her as a going away gift when she moved to the city after college.

Living in the city made her life hard, too. Falling asleep every night at 3am - due to the cab honks, the ambulance sirens, and the voice of the city, sometimes not even getting home from work until midnight, had put a dent in her routine. She rarely ate the three important meals on time, got the required amount of sleep, or had any quiet time.

Guess that's what the cost was of living over 400 miles away from your parents.

Emma placed the old wreath down in a different storage box, bumping into a small red box that sparked memories in her brain.

* * *

 _December of 2009_

" _I thought we weren't getting each other gifts this year? I thought we agreed that we were saving for a trip after we graduate." she sighed as he placed a small red box in her palm._

" _It's just a little something," he smiled, bending down to both of his knees, "No big deal."_

 _She looked at his eyes, which were expressing his happiness. Her free hand nervously slid across her thick white sweater - which he had insisted she had worn rather than the red leather jacket she always had on - and she took a deep breath as she eyed the little box. His hand found her knee, it tightening around it as he shook her leg with anticipation._

" _Just open it," he laughed, "Nothing to be scared about."_

 _She picked the box up out of her palm and twisted it around her fingers for a few seconds - which made him appear even more anxious. Then, she paused and held it closer to her body, staring intensely at it and then eyeing him down. He sent her a reassuring smile before she nodded and flicked open the box, a moment that made her heart stop, her breath quicken, and her eyes widen._

" _I'm not proposing." he said with a laugh._

 _Inside the box, in all its glory, was a silver ring - one of which he had kept sacred to him for the past few years. He had collected rings as representations of things that happened in his life, and he had never spoken of giving them away to anyone. One he had, represented the pain he felt when his mother died in middle school, another expressing his happiness for his older brother getting married. This one, the one in her hand, she had never seen before. She had never heard its story or seen it on any of his fingers._

" _It's new," he simply said, "Want to hear its story?"_

 _All she did was nod._

 _He stood and sat down next to her, wrapping one arm around her waist - which allowed her to lie her head in the crook of his neck. He sighed contently and looked at her, "It represents the love I have for you, everything we've shared, the hope I have for our future."_

" _It's beautiful." she finally spoke._

" _It's yours."_

 _She looked up at him, before he took the ring from her grasp and slid the ring onto one of her fingers._

" _Merry Christmas, love."_

" _Merry Christmas."_

* * *

May of 2017

Emma hung up her clean clothes in her closet, one by one. Her clothes were dull, full of blacks, blues, grays, and maroons. It was a daily reminder of her life - lonely, sad, and full of darkness. There was one item in her closet that was white, her graduation gown. She pushed through her large assortment of dark clothing, finding the crystal white graduation gown hidden all the way in the back of her closet. She instantly felt its thick linen material run through her fingers - a good memory of her graduation flashing before her eyes.

She took it off the hanger and pulled it over her shoulders, slowly zipping it shut and turning around in the mirror. With a small smile, she took in how good it felt to be a teenager again, when all her problems were nonexistent.

High school was the best time of her life. She had the highest grades - all A's in every AP class, had many friends - including Ruby, Mulan, and Belle, who all have left her for their own families, and had an amazing boyfriend - oh, Killian. Killian Jones, captain of the swimming team, straight A student, and her boyfriend for three and a half years. He was perfect for her, perhaps her soulmate. He helped her through the toughest parts of her life - including her grandmother's death, the car crash she was in, and even the bully, Regina Mills. He was there through thick and thin.

Until graduation.

* * *

 _May of 2010_

" _Killian, you coming to dinner at Granny's? To celebrate us graduating from high school?" Emma said as she grabbed his hand._

 _He sent her a sad look, one that she had never seen on his face except for the time he talked about his mother dying. Killian looked to the ground and squeezed her hand, "I'm afraid not, love."_

" _Why not?"_

 _He looked up at her now, his eyes wet and his face full of fear. He led her to sit down on a bench outside of the school and sighed, "I've been hiding something for you. I didn't want to tell you because somehow saying it out loud makes it real."_

 _She raised an eyebrow and caressed his cheek, him then looking to the ground and refusing to look up at her._

 _He shook his head, "I, well my father and I, have talked and decided it's best if I study abroad this summer. In Europe."_

 _Her mouth dropped._

 _Killian looked up at her now, the tears were fighting to escape his eyes, and said, "We found this amazing school in Italy that gives an astounding education for my major. I tried changing the date of my enrollment, but things are really different in Europe; their schooling is different. The only enrollment date I could receive was June 1st."_

" _That's tomorrow, Killian."_

" _Which is why I can't go out and celebrate with you tonight." he said._

 _She took her hands from his, turning straight so that the side if her body faced him, "I thought we agreed with going to West Los Angeles College, and I would major in Law Enforcement and you in Oceanology. What happened to our dream?"_

 _He reached for her hand again, taking it up to his lips and kissing her knuckles, "Europe has a better program, but please don't stop following your dream because of me. I'd hate to live with myself knowing I cost you your dream."_

" _Killian, this was our future. Do you just expect me to let you go like that?"_

 _He paused, then turned her head to face him, their gazes finally meeting for the first time this whole conversation. Then, he spoke, "I hope you let go of me. Don't let me hold you back. You deserve happiness."_

" _But you are my happiness."_

" _I'm sorry, Emma, I really am," he sighed, "I'll be back someday, but until then, be happy. Goodbye and I love you."_

 _Killian kissed her sweetly one last time, before standing and walking away without looking back. If he looked back, he'd never be able to leave for Europe._

* * *

June of 2017

Yeah, so she went on without him. She went to the school of her dreams and got her associates degree in Law Enforcement. Emma graduated from West Los Angeles College in 2012, then moved to the city to fulfill her dream of becoming a policewoman. The 24 months she spent in college were rough. She was on and off with with some guys like Neal, Walsh, and then Graham, but she never truly forgot Killian. He was forever stuck in her brain, or heart. Her relationship with Graham grew more serious when they moved to the city. They shared an apartment and both worked at the city's police department. He was promoted to being the sheriff, until the department discovered he was helping a convict escape from the county jail. This meant that Emma was being promoted.

So, she became sheriff. Her parents weren't too happy to begin with, considering that they expected her to 'go to college for something more important'. She cut off all ties with them until her mother gave birth to her younger brother, Neal, in late 2015.

Graham still is up her ass trying to get back together. He promised that he has changed and that he'd never pull any stunt like that with her. He said he'd never lie to her and never keep any secrets.

Secrets were terrible. Especially ones so big that you don't tell your girlfriend until the night before you're going away to Europe for four years.

The other day was Emma's 25th birthday. She had no one to celebrate it with: no friends, no family, and no boyfriend.

She woke up late that morning, around 11 or so. She stirred around in her bed until she heard her phone buzz crazily, before she picked it up and was being called in for an attempted hit and run on West 34th street. Emma hurriedly got dressed and threw her hair up into a ponytail, before making her way to the station to pick up a squad car. She made it to the scene not even fifteen minutes after the call. On the corner of the street, a man was sitting on the curb, late 20s, dark hair, cleaned up pretty well, and looked like a man of power. In the street across from him was a yellow taxi, with an infuriated driver standing outside of it, accompanied by her fellow officer, Leroy. She stuck her hands in her jean pockets before strolling over to the scene, over to Leroy first.

"What happened?"

Leroy looked at his notepad, "Man was crossing the street, light turned green and taxi flew through the intersection. Apparently he hit the man, but no terrible injuries that followed."

"Deal with him, I got the guy on the curb."

She shook her head as she crossed the street, walking over to the guy. Emma squatted down in front of him and said, "So, wanna tell me what happened or you wanna sit around and mope all day?"

"Hello, lass, what wonderful weather we're having. Yes, I'm fine, thanks for asking. No, there is no family you should call and notify." the man said.

"Quick with the tongue, I gather?"

The man rolled his eyes and stood from the ground, his black jeans unwrinkling and his white t shirt tightening in the process. His biceps emerged from the shirt's sleeves as he sighed. Emma squinted at him; for some odd reason, she was feeling weird.

He crossed his arms, which made his muscles flex and grow, "I was walking; the light was red for them. So I walked, sooner rather than later I get hit with a big, yellow vehicle-"

"A taxi." she interrupted.

"Yeah, a bloody taxi comes for me and almost kills me in broad daylight!" he said.

She tried seeing his face, but every time she leaned to, he turned even further away. She said, "Did you see it coming towards you?"

"If I saw the bloody monster coming towards me, do you think I would go ahead and continue walking?" he sassed.

"Listen up, pal. I'm the sheriff of this city and I don't care for your attitude. I am here trying to figure out the incident that just took place on my streets, and I'd really appreciate it if you'd cooperate with me for two seconds," she said, "Then I'll leave you alone with your sorrows."

He sighed and rubbed his head, "Sorry, you're right. It's just my first day back in the states in like seven years, so I'm still trying to get the hang of things. I walked and saw it coming, but I figured they'd stop since it _was_ a red light."

She nodded as she took her hands out of her pockets, "Well, in New York, you can't expect taxi drivers to do anything. They've been here longer than most of us and they know exactly when the light is going to turn and exactly when they need to stop and go. I've learned that the hard way."

"Did you?" he said as he turned somewhat towards her but not enough to see his face.

"Yeah, first night on the job. I almost got hit by one; I was driving through a yellow light because I had to get to a robbery scene. The light turned while I was in the middle of the intersection and a taxi almost sacked me dry." she said.

"Is he going to jail or?"

Emma turned towards the frantic taxi driver, who was still talking to Leroy, "Probably just a ticket."

He nodded, "Right, well I should be on my way."

"To?"

"Looking for an old friend, must be around here somewhere." he replied.

She nodded, "Maybe I could help you out. You got a name or address?"

He turned completely towards her and nodded, "Yeah, Emma Swan-"

"No shit, you've got to be kidding me." Emma said, her mouth dropping.

He stepped back so his body was against the wall, "Emma?"

She brushed a piece of hair behind her ear and her eyes widened, "Killian?"

* * *

 **Review?**


	2. Chapter 2

**2**

* * *

THE CASE OF MISSING YOU

* * *

June of 2017

"Holy shit, Emma?"

"Killian?"

His eyes widened at the complete sight of her.

She had a kind of understated beauty, perhaps it was because she was so disarmingly unaware of her prettiness. Her light skin was completely flawless. He doubted that she used face masks or expensive products, that really wasn't her m.o. She was all about simplicity, making things easy, helping those around her to relax and be happy with what they have. Perhaps that was why her skin glowed so, it was her inner beauty that lit her eyes and softened her features. Her tall frame and slender body were like of a Victoria's secret model. Her green eyes, were calm and emotionless. Long, wavy blonde hair, so smooth and silky, almost as if it was tailored from gold fabric.

"You've changed, Emma."

"I changed?" Emma sassed, "You grew big muscles, darkened your hair, whitened your teeth, grew taller, developed a slight accent, and oh yeah, moved to Europe for seven years and came back to America to get hit by a taxi."

He raised an eyebrow at her, her pissed off always turned him on, "You have changed, lass."

"Don't call me that, Killian." she crossed her arms and almost turned away, but she was so fascinated by the idea that he was back and right in front of her.

He stepped towards her and took a piece of her long, blonde hair into his fingers, before flinging it behind her shoulder and smirking, "You grew your hair out longer."

"I went to law school, got my degree, moved to the city, and became sheriff, Killian. And all you did was go to a dumb sea school in Europe." she rolled her eyes.

"It wasn't just any sea school, love." he said, stepping back and leaning against the brick wall, "I have my masters degree in oceanology now, and I've made tons of money over in Europe."

"Then why are you back here?"

He paused for a second. Would he give away the one reason he came back to America, the one reason he gave up his success and fortune in Europe? Her. She was the reason he had given up so much and started over in America, why he cane back seven years later and chosen to live in the city, why he almost got hit by a taxi.

"Guess that fancy school didn't teach you how to cross the streets, huh?" she said.

He looked up at her, grateful that she didn't go on with the previous subject of conversation, "Where I lived in Europe, we didn't have to worry about giant, yellow monsters-"

"Taxis."

"Yes, taxis. We didn't have to worry about taxis running us over." he said.

She raised both of her eyebrows and stuffed her hands in the back packets of her jeans, "Right, okay, well, I better get going."

He cleared his throat, "Right, of course. See you around?"

"I hope not, Killian." she said.

He raised an eyebrow and pushed his body off the brick wall, "Why not, Emma?"

"You know _exactly_ why, Mr. Jones. Have a good day, now. I'll be on my way, and watch where you're walking now." she said before crossing the street and getting back in her squad car. She shut her eyes and shook her head, hoping that it was all just a dream and she'd wake up in her bed, and he wouldn't be standing there on the curb across the street from her, and he wasn't back in America after seven years, and that she was definitely not freaking out over him being back.

She opened her eyes.

And yes, he was still there.

She wasn't sleeping; it wasn't a dream.

He was back in America after seven years.

And yes, she was definitely freaking out.

* * *

 _June of 2010_

 _She stared at her phone and contemplated dialing his number. Was it worth it? She did miss him, but he cut everything off with her. It wasn't worth the pain she was going to feel if he didn't answer. It wasn't worth her heart dropping after she hung up. Or was it?_

 _She sighed angrily and picked up the phone, quickly dialing his number and letting it ring._

 _ **Hello?**_

" _Killian? Is that you?"_

 _ **This is my number, isn't it?**_

" _Sorry, yeah. I'm just surprised you actually answered."_

 _ **Emma, I really can't talk right now.**_

" _Yeah, of course. I understand. Another time?"_

 _ **What did you need? I have a few seconds.**_

 _She paused, "I just miss you."_

 _There was silence on the other end for a few seconds and then she heard a long sigh._

 _ **Emma, I thought we talked about this.**_

" _Talked about it? You said you were leaving and didn't even properly say goodbye. You just left everything hanging and left for Europe the next morning."_

 _ **I didn't leave anything hanging.**_

" _You left us hanging, Killian."_

 _ **I can't do this right now, Emma. I didn't leave us hanging, I said you had to move on. It was the only way.**_

 _She stayed silent._

 _ **Long distant relationships never work, and as much as I loved you, I couldn't hold onto you like that. I was doing it for your own good. You deserved better.**_

" _I love you, Killian."_

 _ **I loved you, Emma. I had to let go, and so do you. I'm sorry, I have to go. Don't call again, live your life.**_

" _Killian, please-"_

 _Before she could finish her sentence, the other line cut off. She sighed and curled up into her rocking chair, tucking her head into her knees and letting the tears take over._

* * *

June of 2017

After she returned the squad car, she drove down the streets in her yellow bug. Emma seemed off, her whole mind wasn't clearly wrapping around the idea that Killian was back and that she didn't know why. But she intended to figure it out. And she wasn't going to let her feelings - her feelings from the past of course - get in the way. At least, she hoped she wouldn't.

Emma parked her car in the lot of her favorite coffee shop, NYC Brewery, and went inside to order her regular. She waited in line patiently and ordered, "Medium hot chocolate with whipped cream and cinnamon."

"You got it, Sheriff."

"Emma, please. I'm off the clock." she laughed as the cashier handed her her drink for no charge, "Thank you, Belle."

"Have a good one, Emma." Belle said as Emma waved to her. She made her way over to the condiments area so she could add a bit more cinnamon in her drink and grab a heat protector. Then, she went to sit down in the corner booth or the shop, away from the crowd of people up front. She pulled out her phone and scrolled through her few notifications, some from Leroy and a few others from social media. She was interrupted by a shadow being cast over her table.

She looked up and saw none other than the rich, blue eyes of Killian Jones.

"Aye, lass. This is a nice little shop." he said before sipping his togo coffee.

She rolled her eyes and looked back at her phone, "I told you to stay away, Killian."

"I know," he shrugged, "I just had a question for the sheriff."

"Unless it includes the reason you're still here or the reason you're even back in America, I don't want to hear it."

He stared at her, hoping she'd look back up at him to see his need for her in his eyes, but she didn't, so he simply said, "Alright, I'll leave you."

The shadow disappeared as she finally looked up, acknowledging his parting and then suddenly feeling a drop in her heart, as if she didn't want him to go. She shook her head and finished her drink quickly before getting rid of it and running after him out in the parking lot - which she regretted two seconds after she called his name. He stopped and spun around, that dumb smirk on his face and his silly raised eyebrow, "Aye?"

"What was your question from before?"

"Um," he swallowed hard and stuffed his hands in his front jean pockets, "I was wondering if there were any apartment buildings that I could buy an area in. I was hoping to stay in the city for a bit, so buying a place to stay is probably a good idea, don't ya think?"

Taken aback, she slowly nodded, "Uh, sure, there's the Beatrice Apartments up in Chelsea, Park Avenue South Apartments in the city, the Amsterdam Apartments in the city and SoHo Court in the city, where I live."

"The SoHo Court, huh?" Killian said, "That place sounds a bit familiar."

"That's because you've been there before." Emma said.

* * *

 _March of 2010_

 _Killian grabbed Emma's hand and pulled her up the stairs with him._

" _Killian, we're going to get caught." Emma said._

 _He shushed her, "Quiet down, Mr. Hopper will never notice our absence."_

 _She rolled her eyes, "He will definitely notice that two of his ten students are missing from his group."_

" _We're in New York, it's our senior trip. Relax a little."_

" _I can't relax knowing that this might jeopardize or affect either of our eligibility to graduate." she said._

 _He laughed and ran down the hallway, "Come on."_

 _She shook her head, but he held his arms wide open and waited for her to run into his arms. She hesitated and hid her hand under her long sleeves, before rolling her eyes and running into his arms. He picked her up and spun her around in the air, before walking her into a room and placing her on the ground. He pushed her lightly and shut the door behind him. He grabbed her by the waist, and pulled her in, as close to him as he could, before he pinned her up against the wall behind them and kissed her. The kisses became more rough each time. She could feel his desire in his kiss and in his vigorous movements. She ran her fingers through his dark, thick hair, wanting more. Soon enough, her fingers found his top button and started to undo them, one by one, until his shirt was fully open and her hands could feel the cold area of his chiseled abs._

" _Where are we, anyway?" she managed to get out between kisses._

 _He shrugged and pushed her hair away from her neck so he could suck her pulse point, "Some place called SoHo Court, but that doesn't matter right now."_

 _Hi hands sipped under the bottom of her shirt and felt the cool, soft skin of her belly, his finger slightly skimming it. Then, her phone started ringing, interrupting their heated kiss._

 _She shoved her hand in her pocket and answered the call, "What's up, Regina?"_

 _ **I know I'm not usually nice to you, but I figured I'd do at least one good deed while I'm in a different city. Hopper is on his way up the stairs of SoHo Court.**_

" _What? How did he know we were here?"_

 _ **I might have let it slip out of my mouth.**_

" _Bullshit, Regina."_

 _ **Hey, at least I tried to fix it by calling you. He'll be up there in about thirty seconds.**_

 _Emma hung up the phone and quickly began to button Killian's shirt without telling him why, "Regina called."_

" _I heard," he said, "What about? Was she making fun of you again? I swear I'll beat her ass."_

" _Just sit on the bed and open that map, look confused, would you?" Emma said as she pushed him down onto the bed. She quickly zippered her sweatshirt and sat down next to him, just as the door swung open and revealed a confused Mr. Hopper. Emma's head shot up as she sent him a nervous smile and said, "We heard this apartment building had a bathroom, so we came here."_

" _It was necessary to go to the fifth floor and into an apartment instead of using the bathroom in the lobby?" Mr. Hopper said._

 _Killian folded his map and shoved it in his pocket, before standing up and saying, "That would have been much easier than going up five cases of stairs."_

" _Sorry, Mr. Hopper." Emma said before standing and walking out of the room beside Killian. She snickered under her breath as Killian hit her butt on the way out._

" _Do it again, Mr. Jones and Ms. Swan, and neither of you will see a graduation cap." Mr. Hopper said as he rolled his eyes and broke in between them, walking down the staircase and heading back to the rest of his group._

* * *

June of 2017

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that trip." Killian laughed.

"We almost didn't get to graduate because of your stupid idea!" she laughed with him then, even though she knew she didn't really want to. There was no way that she wanted Killian to be in any part of her life.

He continued laughing, "You didn't think it was a stupid idea at the time, in fact, I remember you being the one pressuring me."

"Hey, that's not how it went; you brought me to the place." she laughed genuinely then, her big and white smile finally making an entrance.

He stopped laughing, "There's that smile."

"What smile?" she asked innocently.

He pointed as he cheeks grew a light shade of pink, "The one where you get all nervous, but then you're genuinely happy."

She cleared her throat and immediately hid her smile, "Anyway, good luck finding an apartment."

He shook his head and frowned at her, his hand leaving his pockets and his arms crossing over his chest. He sighed, "Emma."

"What, Killian?" she said, turning away slightly.

"Why is it that everytime I remind you of a happy time of our relationship, you change the subject?" Killian asked.

She bit her lip and then pursed her lips, "Are you serious right now?"

He nodded and raised an eyebrow.

She stepped back and dug for her car keys in her coat pocket, "Because it doesn't remind me of happiness."

"Why not?"

She looked up at him, her mouth dropping and her eyes widening. Did he really think he was that innocent? Of course he did. He always was overly self confident. Emma sighed and shook her head, then looked down to the ground and said, "Because you broke my heart when you promised you wouldn't."

"Emma-"

"Killian, I have to go. I really don't want to talk about this now," she sighed and turned away from him, beginning to cross the parking lot to her yellow bug, "Or ever again. Goodbye."

"Emma, let's not do this."

"Not do what?" she paused but didn't turn to face him.

He sighed and rubbed his head, "Let's not fight over what we lost."

"We didn't lose anything," she said, " _You_ gave up on it."

And it was true. Killian did give up on it.

He gave up on them.

He gave up on her.

* * *

Emma parked in her assigned spot before standing from her car and shutting the door behind her. She flipped her voluminous curls out of her face and zipped her leather jacket up halfway, before crossing the parking lot and walking into her apartment building. She nodded to the lobbyist and headed up the stairs to her floor, before digging her key out of her pocket and arriving to her door. While struggling to open the door, she was intrigued to hear the lobbyist coming up the stairs, talking about how beautiful and amazing the SoHo Court was. She hurriedly opened the door and ran inside her apartment, before shutting the door behind her and locking it.

What was she doing? Why was she acting thirteen again? Was she so paranoid that she couldn't bare to see the lobbyist and who she was touring the SoHo Court with?

Obviously.

She heard some muffled chatter out in the hallway before she unzipped her jacket and threw it across her couch. Rolling her eyes, she sighed and went into the kitchen to eat a small snack. When she picked up an apple from the fridge, she heard a knock on her door. After placing the apple on the counter, she brushed her hair behind her shoulders and trudged to the door. Emma opened it and saw her lobbyist with a big smile.

"Can I help you, Ruby?" she said.

Ruby sat on her hip and crossed her arms, "Hello to you too, Sheriff. What's with the chip on your shoulder?"

Emma shook her head, "Sorry. What did you need?"

Ruby raised an eyebrow, "I wanted to introduce you to your new neighbor."

Emma opened the door a bit more to see the person standing next to Ruby. She rolled her eyes and sighed, "You've got to be kidding me, Ruby."

"Do you have a problem with Mr. Jones?" she asked.

Killian smiled at Emma and shoved his hands in his pockets before shaking his head, "No issues. Just old friends, that's all."

"Emma?"

"Fine, we're fine. I'm not being a friendly neighbor or anything. We know each other and that's it. Goodbye, Killian." Emma said.

Ruby nodded and made her way down to hallway and into the elevator, leaving Emma and Killian alone in the hallway.

Killian sighed, "Listen, I know you're angry-"

"What don't you understand about staying away?" Emma said.

"Emma, let me explain-"

She rolled her eyes, "I may be the sheriff, but that doesn't mean I have to be nice to you. Goodbye, Killian. Please, oh please, do not talk to me."

"I don't understand where this is-"

"Killian, go."

He nodded and stuck his key into the door across the hall from hers, before looking back at Emma, who was already shutting the door, and stepping into his new apartment.

This was it.

The first step to redemption and the first step to getting Emma back.

Or so he thought.

* * *

 **A/N: Getting a bit more angsty for you all. Hope you all are enjoying this. Leave me a review.**

 **Kisses.**


	3. Chapter 3

**3**

* * *

THE CASE OF MISSING YOU

* * *

 _June 2007_

 _Emma was dressed in jean shorts and a red cropped tank. Her hair was somewhat curly and pulled into a high pony, along with a light layer of makeup. She hadn't tried to doll up too much, especially since she was only going to hang out with her 'friend'. It was a hot day, and he had asked to meet up for ice cream, but she had work later that day, so she offered to meet up for breakfast. She was to meet Killian in twenty minutes at Granny's, as friends. It wasn't a date. At least she thought it wasn't._

 _Was it a date?_

 _She rolled her eyes and shook her head, before turning to look at herself once more in the mirror and spraying some perfume all over her body. She sighed and smiled at herself before meeting up with her mother in the kitchen, "I'm ready to go, Mom."_

" _Wearing that? Are we sure this boy is just a friend?" Snow snickered and raised an eyebrow as she grabbed her car keys._

 _Emma crossed her arms and followed her mother out of the house, "He_ is _just a friend, and it's ninety degrees out."_

 _Snow nodded and got in the car, before she started to drive to the town's hit restaurant, Granny's. They arrived only a few minutes early, and Snow watched reluctantly as Emma got out of the car, "You sure you'll be okay, honey?"_

 _Emma nodded excessively, "I'll be fine, Mom. I'll text later when I'm ready to leave."_

 _Snow nodded, "Alright, I love you."_

" _Mhm, you too." she said before crossing her arms and making her way into Granny's. Emma slipped through the door, making the customer bell ring and causing some people to stare at her. Believe or not, Emma had never been to Granny's in her entire life of living in Storybrooke. She felt out of place immediately when she was submerged into a sea of unknown neighbors. Then, she felt a hand wrap around her forearm, causing her to quickly turn around and grab the wrist of whoever it was._

 _Killian jumped back and laughed, "Jeez, sorry. Didn't mean to scare you."_

 _She scoffed and then let a small smile form, "I wasn't scared, I was just-"_

" _Right," Killian raised an eyebrow and held his hand to invited her to sit at a booth, "Will this do?"_

" _It will suffice," she laughed before an older woman handed them menus, to which they nodded and thanked. Emma scanned the menu for an item that made her mouth water, but she had never heard of the plates before - or had never tried any of them._

 _Killian looked up at her and noticed her hesitation to pick something, "When I go somewhere new, I just get something that I know I'll enjoy, like a bagel or pancakes."_

" _Mmm, I love pancakes."_

 _He shrugged, "Then get them, love."_

 _Emma raised an eyebrow at him before he continued to speak, "What? I always call people that."_

 _She made eyes at him before the older woman came back and collected the menus and their orders. Emma folded her hands together on the table and looked around the restaurant to try to relieve some of the awkwardness, but nothing seemed to work._

 _Killian cleared his throat and fumbled with the rings on his fingers, "So."_

" _So."_

" _How come we've never become friends before this?" Killian asked, leaning towards her a bit._

 _Emma sighed, "Well, I was homeschooled for the first eight years. So, I didn't go to Storybrooke Intermediate or Storybrooke Elementary."_

 _He nodded, "Why did you change your ways and decide to come to Storybrooke High?"_

 _She shrugged her shoulders and clicked her tongue, "Guess I just wanted to classic high school experience like everyone else."_

 _The older woman showed up with their food and handed them syrup with extra napkins, "Enjoy my finest."_

" _Thank you," Killian said before she walked away, and then he looked at Emma, who was already digging into her pancakes, "Are those good? I mean, the chocolate chips in the pancakes?"_

 _She shoved a big bite into her mouth before covering it with her hand and smiling, "Of course, I love some flavor with my pancakes."_

" _I've only ever had plain pancakes," he said while taking a bite of his buttermilk ones, "Never tried it with anything else."_

" _You should," she laughed, "Pancakes are sensational."_

" _With or without the extras."_

 _Emma nodded and continued to eat her chocolate chip pancakes. They would occasionally stop to chat for a bit and then go back to eating until they both finished their plates and just talked. Emma texted her mom to pick her up as they stood from the booth and headed outside._

 _Killian found his hands to be stuck in his short pockets and his bottom lip to be stuck between his teeth. Nerves were building up and he didn't know why. He could sense that their time was almost over and even just the idea of her leaving made him a bit more upset. He cleared his throat as they stopped walking at the gate of the restaurant, "Did you like it?"_

" _It was an amazing first time," she smiled and look to the ground, "Thanks, Killian."_

 _He nodded, "Of course. Is that your mom?"_

 _Emma turned to notice the trunk pulling into the parking lot and then turned back to him with a mod, "Yeah. See you in school?"_

" _Yeah, right, school. Only two months till then." he smiled as she folded her hands behind her back and stepped off the curb. Then, there was a pause between the both of them where they just stared at each other for a few seconds._

 _Emma quickly stepped back up onto the curb and wrapped her arms around Killian, squeezing him lightly and then letting go and running to her car. She got inside and waved to him, who was still shocked that she even touched him. He gulped and waved back as he watched them back out and leave the parking lot, which made him feel a drop_ _in his heart like no other._

* * *

June 2017

Emma growled as she heard her phone buzzing. She shoved her pillow on top of her head and pulled the comforter over the pillow to try to ignore the sound, but the buzzing was too loud. Her arm extended from the bed and her finger wrapped around her cellphone, before she brought it under the pillow and up to her face to read the screen - 4:15AM. She rubbed her eyes and sighed angrily, before it buzzed again and displayed a call from Leroy.

She picked it up, "Hello?"

 **Swan, we need you at 412 Main St, now.**

"What's happening?"

 **Robbery. And apparently it's your ex boy toy.**

"Ex boy toy?"

 **Neal Cassidy**.

She rolled her eyes and sat up from bed, "I'm coming. Be there in ten."

 **We have the place surrounded. Best hurry.**

She nodded and hung up before throwing her phone on the bed and standing to move to her closet, where she grabbed a pair of black jeans and a white tank top. Quickly, she got dressed and pulled her hair into a high messy bun, before throwing on a pair of shoes, brushing her teeth, and grabbing a cup of strong coffee to go. She struggled to open the door of her apartment due to the darkness, and then struggled even more to close and lock the door because the hallway was completely pitch black. She growled at the door as she felt the knob for the keyhole and spoke to herself, "You've got to be fucking kidding me."

Finally, the key fell into the hole and she locked the door, "Thank you for not screwing up this case."

Then, she shoved her keys in her pocket and headed down the stairs and towards her car. She didn't bother getting a squad car, especially because it would just add on another ten minutes to her estimated arrival time since the station was opposite of where she had to go.

She arrived at the scene not five minutes later and jumped out of her car, before running over to Leroy and bending down behind the squad car, "So?"

"You got here fast, Swan."

She rolled her eyes, "I don't take my job for granted, Leroy."

He nodded and pulled out a file, "Neal Cassidy, 28, has previous charges of attacking, attempt at robbery, and attempt at escaping jail."

"Yep, I know. Are we sure he's in there right now?" she said as she stood back up and secured a gun in her holster.

Leroy patted her shoulder, "Sure as ever. Good luck, Swan. Don't hurt yourself."

"Why would I hurt myself?"

"Do you want me to go in with you?" he added.

She raised an eyebrow before jumping the hood if the car and turning back to him, "Why would I need you to accompany me?"

He shrugged, "Old boyfriends can mess with your head; just looking out for you, Emma."

"I don't need anyone to look out for me," she said, "I'm a grown woman, and I'm about to put this jerk in his place. And it's Sheriff to you."

Leroy raised his hands in a surrendering motion before saying, "Whatever you say, Sheriff. We're out here if you need backup."

Emma nodded and slowly headed into the front door of the building. It seemed abandoned from the looks of it - there were boards of wood nailed across the windows, no furniture in sight except a large area rug in the middle of the first room, and it seemed like there had been no air condition on for months. She grasped the body of her gun and pulled it from her holster as she rounded the first corner and started up the stairs. She could easily hear the muffled talk of her ex-boyfriend and another familiar voice, but she couldn't quite make out who the other person was. Emma took a deep breath before stepping up the last stair and coming to a pause when she saw the shadows of two men.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Neal said, "You were supposed to keep him away from her!"

"I tried-"

"We had a deal, man!" Neal yelled, but then quieted down, "You think it's easy for me to live like this?"

The other person quickly responded, "It's not my fault you chose this lifestyle-"

Neal laughed, "Chose this lifestyle? You fucking made me, this was my price to pay for my half of the deal."

"You didn't have to take the deal."

Neal snickered in response, "I had to take it and you know it. It was the only way I could have a second chance with her-"

"No one forced you to do it."

"Shut your mouth," Neal snapped, "Where's the money?"

The shadows moved closer to the slightly opened door as she held her breath and listened to the other voice, "That money isn't yours."

"I'm taking it for myself since you couldn't hold up your end of the deal."

"The police will catch you, and then she'll for sure know your whereabouts."

Neal's shadow moved quickly as the door was then shut, and Emma began to hear shuffling of boxes and furniture in the closed off room. There was a loud bang like something had dropped before she heard Neal's voice again, "That's a clever hiding spot, you know?"

"You aren't going to get away with this. They'll find you, she'll find you."

"Maybe she'll find me and I'll give her a stern fucking, but until then, the cash is mine," he sighed, "And you are no longer relevant."

"I'll tell the police myself."

"You'll do no such thing." Neal said.

Emma inched towards the door and slowly reached for the knob, letting her fingers wrap around the cold metal and shook off her nerves. Then, the other voice spoke, "Or you'll do what?"

"I'll kill you."

At Neal's words, Emma turned the knob and kicked the door open, holding her gun in the air and aligning it with Neal's chest, "Put the money down and your hands up."

Neal's eyes widened at the sight of her, his heart stopping and his breath quickening all at once. He cocked his head to the side and cleared his throat, trying to take in all of her. She was even more beautiful than she was a few years ago.

Emma moved towards him a bit, making him drop the bag of money and fascinate over her a little more. She quickly eyed the man behind Neal, who was indeed the familiar face of her college classmate, August Booth.

* * *

 _November 2012_

 _Emma sat under the tree and folded her knees under her body. She sighed as she opened her law enforcement history book and began reading the assigned passage._

" _Detective? Governor?" a man said as he strolled over to Emma, "No, policewoman?"_

 _Emma let her eyes travel up to the man, who was now standing in front of her. He had short, curly brown hair, some scruff on his face, and was wearing all leather. He was holding a motorcycle helmet in one hand and his other was hidden in his leather jacket's pocket. He sent her a soft smile and held out his hand, "August Booth."_

 _She placed her book on the grass and stood, grabbing his hand and shaking it, "Emma Swan. How'd you guess?"_

" _How'd I guess you were studying to be a policewoman?" he said, "Well, you look pretty badass."_

 _She laughed and took her hand away, crossing her arms and leaning against the tree, "And you?"_

 _He bit his lip and looked away as if he was embarrassed, before turning back to her and tapping his helmet against his leg, "Writing."_

" _You?" she laughed, "The guy with a leather jacket and motorcycle, is studying to be a writer?"_

 _He nudged her with his helmet, "Just because I look tough doesn't mean I can't be soft."_

" _And you're a senior, right?" she said, folding her hands in front of her._

 _August nodded, "Yeah, how did you-"_

" _I've seen you around my ex before; he's a senior, too." she shrugged and sat back down, "I better finish this homework. Dr. Hopper is going to kill me if I hand in another late assignment."_

 _August cleared his throat and smiled, "See you around?"_

 _She nodded and grabbed her book from the grass, placing it her lap and opening it back up to the assigned passage. Emma looked up at him and smiled as he walked away, before starting her passage._

* * *

June 2017

"Emma?" Neal still couldn't really believe that she was standing there in front of him.

She tightened her grip on the gun and stepped towards him, "Put your hands up, Neal."

August stood from the chair he had been sitting in, causing Emma to swing the gun in his direction, "Don't move, August."

August froze and held his hands up in the air, but Neal still chose not to. He squinted towards her and then eyed August, then the money, then back to Emma. She sighed and pointed the gun back to Neal, before taking a step back towards the door and slowly reaching for her radio, "Neal, you make any moves, I shoot you."

As soon as Emma's hand landed on her radio, Neal bolted for the bag of money and hid behind August. Emma immediately and instinctively shot the gun, the bullet going into the headboard of the bed.

"Fuck me." she said under her breath, "Neal, stop hiding and get your ass out here. Let's just settle this."

August, still frozen and now more scared that Neal was hiding behind him, slowly bent down to his knees, revealing Neal, who was texting something on his phone.

Leroy was talking on the radio,

 _Need help, Swan? We heard a gunshot._

"Neal, who are you texting?" she said as she stepped towards him and August and kicked the boxes aside. He turned towards her and sent her a smirk, before replying, "Right about now you'll find out."

"What the hell does that mean?" she said. Emma noticed August finally sitting down completely on the ground, her attention focusing on the reason he was even doing so. Then, she immediately felt two hands wrap around her arms, making her quickly spin around. The mysterious attacker grabbed her wrists and kicked the gun out of her hand and under the bed. Her mouth dropped, all of it was happening so fast - she had never had any issues like this before. Neal stepped over August completely, stopping and squatting in front of him, "You tell them where I'm going and I'll kill you."

The man whose arms were now tightly around Emma's waist, pulled her back with him and swung her around so that her body hit the wall. She quickly punched him in the gut and yanked off his black ski mask, noticing the key features of him - dirty blonde hair, green eyes, and strong cheekbones - before she was then again swung around and thrown into the window. Her head hit the glass, it shattering and stalling her long enough for Neal and the other guy to run out of there. Her hand found her head, the pain entering her entire body, as she opened her eyes and stared at August, who was still sitting on the ground patiently.

"Where did they go, August?" she said.

He stayed silent, but looked up at her.

"August, if you don't tell me, then I'll have to arrest you." she said, letting her hands fall to her side and pushing her body off the wall.

Emma stalked towards him and reached for the handcuffs in on her jean's belt loop, "August Booth, you're under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law."

As she bent down and cuffed his wrists, Leroy and his fellow officer, Doc, came running into the room, "That's Neal Cassidy?"

"No." she sighed and yanked August up with her, "This is August Booth, one of Neal's accomplices."

August grunted as Emma threw him into Leroy's and Doc's grasp. She sighed as Leroy asked, "And Neal? Did you let him get away?"

Emma cleared her throat and shoved past the three men, "I didn't _let_ him do anything, but yes, he got away with another man."

"I told you that you shouldn't have gone in alone-"

"Leroy, don't speak to me like that," she snapped as she stepped out of the building, Leroy, Doc, and August following, "And next time you even think of doing it, remember that I am your boss. Not the other way around."

Leroy bit his tongue in the process of stuffing August in the back of his squad car, "You coming to the station for his booking?"

Emma froze and turned to Leroy, who was leaning calmly against his squad car, then she eyed August, who was biting his lip and staring Emma down. She rolled her eyes and threw him her gun, "Not right now, but I'll be back later after I'm rested to question him. For now, just hold him in the station's cell until I come back later."

"Go get some rest," he said, "You'll need to be on your game if we're going to catch Neal Cassidy. I'm sure he's already on the run and getting out of this state."

"I doubt he'll leave New York, Leroy." she said as she stuffed her hands in her back pockets.

Leroy opened the squad car door and turned to Emma, "Why do you think that?"

"Because I'm in New York."

Leroy nodded and got into the car, before driving off and leaving Emma alone in the parking lot with her yellow bug. She rubbed her eyes and sighed angrily, before clenching her fists and biting her lip. She got in her car and began to hit the steering wheel, "Fuck me, fuck me!"

In a matter of minutes, she was driving home.

She trudged up the stairs to her floor and unlocked the door, still with a struggle since the hallway wasn't light yet. Emma banged her head against the door after she shut it and turned to move into the kitchen. She stared at the stove clock, which stated 6AM. She threw her keys on the kitchen counter and opened her fridge - no food. With a roll of the eyes, Emma walked out of the kitchen and plopped her body on the couch, falling back first and just lying there for a few minutes.

She couldn't believe that Neal was back for one day and he was already ruining her life. She hadn't been too distracted at the scene, but she was not 100% on her game, so he took the opportunity to escape. She hated herself for it. Emma never messed up her job; her job meant everything to her - especially since her it had taken the place of her family and friends.

Everything was going wild in her life - her job was being messed up by an ex boyfriend, who was now a convict, her other ex highschool lover came back after seven years, and her family still wanted nothing to do with her.

There was a knock on her door.

Who the hell was knocking on her door at six in the morning?

She groaned and ignored it, but there was another knock.

Reluctantly she stood, before trudging over to the door and slowly unlocking it and opening it to reveal Killian with a large white bag.

"Killian, I thought we agreed you wouldn't be bothering me."

"I heard you cursing in the hallway this morning, and I just wanted to give you these." he said as he held out the white bag in front of her, "It's your favorite."

She took the bag from his hands and opened it, letting the sweet smell of chocolate chips fill her senses, "Chocolate chip pancakes?"

He smiled at her and nodded before backing up to his door, "Eat them and sleep."

Killian turned around and left her alone as he shut the door to his apartment behind him. She was stunned by his actions. Emma looked down at her favorite meal since freshman year - her favorite meal since she met him.

He had remembered.

He had remembered how happy eating them made her feel.

And just this small act of kindness allowed her to remember the large amount of happiness they shared when they were a couple.

* * *

 **A/N: Hee hee! :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**4**

* * *

THE CASE OF MISSING YOU

* * *

Emma got out of the yellow bug and sighed. It was now noon and she was already fuming with anger thanks to Neal. She crossed the parking lot and headed inside the station, nodding to her officers and heading straight to the back interrogation room. When she arrived, she let out a long breath. One because she didn't know what was going to happen after she stepped inside that room and two because she suddenly felt uneasy. Emma cleared her throat and opened the door, eyeing down a very relaxed August Booth and a very annoyed Leroy.

Leroy turned to her, "Glad you're here. He hasn't spoken since we arrived."

She rolled her eyes and shut the door behind her, before crossing her arms and saying, "August, you need to talk."

He shook his head, "Whatever I say will come around to bite me in the ass."

"But something might get you out of here." she said as Leroy stood and invited her to sit down in front of August. August shook his head again and leaned back in his chair as Leroy rolled his eyes and left the room.

Emma leaned back as well, as if she was challenging him, and sent him a small smirk, "You have two choices here, August."

He raised his eyebrow.

"The first, and in my opinion, your best choice, is to tell me everything you know so you can hopefully get cleared," then she leaned forward, "The second, you can stay here and rot in jail while I go find Neal myself, and be doomed to pay the price of not only your actions right now but also the price of whatever Neal is doing as you're holding me up here."

August cleared his throat and shifted his eyes away from Emma's dark and devious ones. He flinched at her words almost as if he was actually scared of her. Then he spoke, "You always were a tough one. Bitchy almost."

Offended, she hit her fist on the metal table and sighed, "Just because I look tough doesn't mean I can't be soft, right?"

He squinted at her words, mostly because they came from his mouth back when they met, and also because she was barking up the wrong tree. She didn't know what happened after their conversation, and that was something that made him pissed. His eyes grew instantly and he leaned into her space, before whispering to her, "You wanna know the full story?"

"Full story?" she asked.

He nodded, "Yeah, _after_ we met that day."

* * *

 _November 2011_

 _August let his fake smile fade as he walked away from Emma. With a raised eyebrow, he headed into the school and stuffed his helmet in his locker, before it was suddenly slammed shut by Neal._

" _Going soft on her, are you?"_

" _What's it matter to you?" August said, "You two aren't together anymore."_

 _Neal wrapped his fingers around the collar of August's leather jacket, before yanking him down the hallway and into the janitor's closet. Neal threw him against the shelving unit and locked the door, "Emma is off limits, pal."_

" _She dumped you, buddy," August dared, "You don't get a say in her future."_

" _Ah, that's where you're wrong."_

 _Neal leaned against the door as August cautiously fixed his posture. With a raised eyebrow, August stepped toward Neal and said, "What do you mean?"_

" _I'm about to tell you something you cannot repeat," he said, "And if you do, you won't see the next morning."_

 _August gulped loudly._

 _Neal pushed his body off the door and took out his phone, "This is Killian Jones, Emma's ex-boyfriend. They dated for nearly five years until her moved away. That's when she came here, met me and we had a great time, dated for a year and a half. The whole time we were dating, she wouldn't stop telling me about this man who had changed her life for the better and how she missed him, and later on I found out it was Killian. Now she wants him back, but I want her back."_

" _Sounds like there's nothing you can do-"_

" _But there is something you can do, for me."_

 _August raised his hands and shook his head, "Ain't no way I am getting into your mess."_

 _Neal pushed him back against the shelving unit, "You will do as I say."_

" _What do I get out of it?"_

" _What do you want?_

 _August brought a finger to his chin and gave Neal a little laugh, "Money."_

" _I don't have any money."_

 _August shrugged, "Then, I better go ask Emma out."_

 _Neal pushed him once more and started to panic, "I'll get the money. Just stay away from Emma and make sure Killian never comes back."_

" _I'll fly out next week."_

* * *

June 2017

"So, you just fly out of America just like that?" Emma rolled her eyes and stood from the metal chair. She clicked her tongue and strolled to the opposite side of the room before spinning August around in his chair and leaning towards him, "You're lying."

August shook his head, "I'm not lying-"

"I have this superpower that helps me tell when someone is lying," she squinted her eyes at him, "And you are."

August sighed and crossed his arms, then he gave her a stern stare and shook his head, "Neal wants you back. From what he's been planning for the past five years and from what I heard of his future plans, he'll do _anything_ to get you back."

Emma scoffed, "I'm never going to get with him."

"He intends to make you want him."

Emma froze as she began to remember the real reasons he broke up with Neal in the first place.

* * *

 _October 2011_

" _Neal! Stop it!" she yelled at him, grabbing his arm. He then grabbed her wrist tightly and said, "If you ever tell me what to do again, it won't be pretty." She started crying._

" _Neal, that hurts." she said, tears falling down her face. He finally let go._

" _Don't you ever talk to that man again, do you understand me?"_

" _Neal, I was hurt, and you weren't there for me."_

" _You made a mistake, Emma, and now because of that mistake, someone had to get hurt."_

" _Neal, you did this to him, not me."_

" _Shut up, Emma. Forget about it, forget about him, forget about it all."_

" _Neal!"_

" _Let's go. This never happened. Don't bring it up during dinner time at my mother's house tonight."_

 _He finally let go of her wrist. His tight grasp left a dark red mark on her wrist, one that soon turned into a bruise._

" _No, I won't go with you," she cried, "I can't of on like this."_

" _I'm sorry, Emma. I acted irrationally," he said, "Forgive me, sometimes my father's anger issues trail up behind me."_

 _She shook her head and tore off the beanie that calmly rested on her head, before rubbing her wet eyes under her glasses and pushing him away. Emma threw out her arms and shows her wrists to him, "Neal, I've dealt with it the other four times 'your anger issues trailed up behind you' and now it's just too much. I can't do it anymore."_

 _Neal grabbed her hands and pulled her body close to his, "Don't do this."_

" _We're done here."_

 _He shook his head and held her to him, "Please don't go. I love you."_

" _Well, I_ loved _you."_

 _Emma tore away from his grasp and sniffled as she ran out of his dorm room and into the front garden. Then, she was nowhere to be seen._

 _For days, for weeks._

 _For a month, she ignored him._

 _Until she came back and met August in November_.

* * *

June 2017

Emma cleared her throat, "If you're just going to continue telling me lies, I have no other choice but to lock you up."

"You have to believe me, Emma. Open your eyes, look at the bigger picture here." he began to beg her.

She felt his hand grab hers and tug on it, making her spin around quickly and step towards the door, "I'm going to find Neal. In the meantime, I'd get cozy with the cold cell you'll most likely end up in."

As she stepped out of the room, August stood and yelled, "I don't know how far that stick is up your ass, but I'd take it out if you ever want a chance of happiness ever again!"

Emma heard his voice echoing through the department's hallways, loud enough for each and every employee to hear. She bit her tongue and shut her eyes, hoping that no one had heard his remark. Her phone buzzed.

 **Up for a high speed chase?**

Emma raised an eyebrow and texted the unknown number back,

 _Who is this?_

 **Just to be clear, by high speed chase, I mean a few rounds of go kart racing downtown.**

She rolled her eyes and laughed,

 _Killian, should have known._

 **Is that a yes? Am I fortunate enough to say that I have broken into the Swan at just the right moment and gotten her to come out with me?**

She texted back,

 _I'm only saying yes because I really need a break from work, but understand that I have to leave if my job calls._

 **I would never be offended if you left for your job.**

She smiled genuinely, something she rarely had done in the past few years,

 _Meet you there in fifteen?_

 **Fifteen it is, love.**

Emma stuffed her phone in her back pocket before heading towards the door to the parking lot. She felt an odd feeling in her body - something of a mix of nerves, anxiousness, dizziness, excitement, and sadness. All of it planning to make her fall to her doom, she thought. She didn't want to let Killian in, especially if it meant that hed make her feel all those feelings again. Even more so, she didn't want him thinking that she wanted him. Or even thought of wanting him. Not after what he did.

He didn't deserve those feelings from her.

She got into her car and began driving to the park downtown, where she remembered she had first ridden go karts when she was a little girl with her parents - before they discovered she wouldn't fulfilled their dream of becoming something more important in life. Emma stopped at a red light and sighed before she heard a loud tapping on her window. Cautiously, she rolled it down and leaned over, "Can I help you, sir?"

"Names Jefferson. My daughter, she seems to be missing, and I can't find her." Panic was in his voice and fear took over his face.

She nodded and pulled over, "Good thing I'm the sheriff and not just any stranger. Can I have a description of your daughter?"

He reached into his coat pant pocket, pulling out a black wallet, before flipping through the pictures and handing her a wrinkled picture of a young girl.

"Grace is your daughter?" Emma said.

He nodded, "Yes, do you know her?"

"She volunteers at the station frequently," Emma said, "For a nine year old, she's quite mature."

Jefferson let a small smile form before he said, "I was just with her. She asked for money to get ice cream next store and told me to wait for her because she wanted to be a big girl, and when she didn't come out, I ran and found you."

Emma looked around for the familiar child. She called over her radio, "All units keep eye out for nine year old, Grace, long blonde hair and brown eyes. Missing as of ten minutes ago."

Jefferson ran his hand through his thick, curly hair and sighed. He tapped his foot anxiously and stared at Emma, "This is all my fault."

"Sir, it isn't your fault-"

"If I hadn't let her go into the ice cream shop by herself, she would be with me and it would all be fine."

Emma held Jefferson's shoulder and rubbed it, "We'll find her."

Jefferson nodded and leaned against the brick wall, "Yep."

"Stay here."

Emma patted Jefferson's shoulder as she rounded the corner and headed towards the ice cream shop. She headed inside and rang the counter bell. A man had his back faced towards her and said, "Can I help you?"

"I'm Sheriff Swan, and I need to ask you some questions about a customer you may or may not have had." she said, leaning on the counter.

He didn't turn around, he just stood facing the wall, "I have a terrible memory, so I don't remember any customers."

She scoffed, "It's a little girl who must've left here five minutes ago or so. She's missing and we need all the information we can get."

The man shrugged and moved to the opposite side of the his little area, still not turning around.

"Sir, I need you to cooperate with me. This girl could be in danger and you not communicating clearly with me could be the reason she gets hurt." Emma urged.

He still didn't turn around, "I said I can't remember anyone."

"She's young, short, has long blonde hair and brown eyes. Her father sent her in with money to get some ice cream-"

"Sheriff, I do not remember anyone."

She rolled her eyes, "Maybe if you turned around and I showed you a picture, you might find it a bit easier."

He froze.

"Turn around."

"I'd rather not, my back hurts a little-"

Before Emma could snap back and reach over the counter to grab the man herself, Jefferson ran inside the ice cream shop and pulled Emma towards him, "She's safe."

Emma let a smile form on her face, "Where did you find her?"

Grace looked up at Emma, "I'm fine, Sheriff. I never went into the ice cream shop."

"Then where did you get the ice cream?" she asked.

"Grace?" Jefferson said, concerned.

She licked it and shrugged, "A man gave it to me."

Jefferson grabbed the ice cream from his daughter's hands, "You know not to take anything from strangers!"

"What did the man look like, Grace?" Emma asked.

Grace shrugged, "Blonde with green eyes."

 _Neal's accomplice._

Jefferson shook his daughter and said, "Never leave my side and never take anything from strangers ever again. You could've been hurt or taken away from me."

She looked to the ground and pouted, "I'm sorry, father."

He hugged her and stood to shake Emma's hand, "Thank you."

"I didn't do much, but-"

"You did more than I could by myself," Jefferson nodded and started for the door with Grace, "Sorry to interrupt your day."

Emma nodded, "No problem at all."

She glanced at her watch and noticed the time, "Shit."

 _She forgot about Killian._

Emma spun around to attempt to buy something sweet for Killian in apologies, but she was suddenly taken aback by a kind, old woman. She raised an eyebrow, "Where did the man go?"

The woman shrugged, "What man?"

Emma shook her head and headed out of the ice cream shop and back to her car. She quickly drove to the go kart grounds and parked. Emma ran through the parking lot and into the building, where you purchased tickets, before scoping the area for Killian. The was no sign of him.

She reached for her phone and noticed the ten missed calls and eleven text messages from Killian, all of them topped off with the final message:

 **You didn't have to make a fool of me. You could have just said no.**

Emma felt terrible.

Terrible that she couldn't find Grace herself.

Terrible that Neal had once again gotten her.

Terrible that she missed plans she accepted.

And terrible that Killian was now hurt. And that - that was the most pain she had felt in a long time. A long time ago, hurting Killian meant hurting herself, and now, that feeling was coming back.

* * *

 **A/N: So sorry for the late update. In return for your unlucky suspense, next chapter will be up on schedule and will be extra long! Love all of you beauties and hope you're enjoying this story.**

 **Follow me on twitter (jenmonoghue) and leave me a review.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Little heads up, this chapter is going to be told in Killian's point of view, only because I felt that you deserved a bit if his side on the entire matter (plus a bit of bonus matter). Also, I thought it would be nice for you to finally find out why Killian** _ **actually**_ **left and how it happened.**

 **You'll also find out some things about Killian's past and they probably will come by surprise to you. I'm sorry if you get confused but if you do, please send me as many questions as you want.**

 **Good luck with chapter, I'd prepare yourself.**

* * *

 **5**

* * *

THE CASE OF MISSING YOU

* * *

Killian shook his head as he drove away from the go kart grounds. He should have known better. Of course she wouldn't accept plans that quickly. She wasn't ready for his redemption, or for his feelings. He was foolish to think that she would be serious for one second after what he had done to her. He was foolish to think she would ever give him a second chance.

Truth was - he didn't deserve a second chance.

Not after what he did - what he never told her.

* * *

 _September 2003_

" _Another new neighbor?" Killian groaned as he shoved his lunchbox in his backpack._

 _His mother lightly brushed her fingers through his hair and shrugged, "Just be nice and go, don't be late for school."_

 _He nodded and hugged her, before running out the front door and to the edge of the driveway. It was his first day of sixth grade. Killian shuffled across the street and saw a boy, around his age, long, dark hair, and greyish eyes. He was wearing a long sleeved sweatshirt with ripped jeans and looked lost. Killian stepped onto the sidewalk and held out his hand, "I'm Killian."_

" _Neal." The boy shook Killian's hand, "I just moved here."_

" _You lost or something?"_

 _Neal laughed, "Just trying to find the bus stop."_

" _Oh, follow me. It's right over here." Killian smiled and showed Neal across the street._

* * *

Killian wasn't a _good_ kid, but he wasn't bad either. He got well enough grades to continue playing sports, was admired by the student body, and played the role of the most popular kid in school. He had tons of friends, including his newest, Neal, and lived the perfect life.

Neal and Killian grew closer as time passed. Seventh grade ended and summer began. They spent each day together, passing the football, studying, talking about girls, or just laughing. They really were the ideal best friends.

Killian had never felt so attached to someone else except to his brother Liam.

Eighth grade came, and then the two hit rock bottom.

* * *

 _September 2005_

" _Dude, how's it feel to still rule the school?" Neal asked as he playfully shoved Killian with his arm._

 _Killian shrugged, "Just the same."_

 _Neal shrugged as well then, before they were forced to stop in the hallway. There was a group of students crowded around a single girl. They managed to squish past most of them, enough to see who the crowd was oohing and ahhing about._

 _It was the Emma Swan._

 _Emma had moved away to Boston a few years ago, back when she was adopted by some rich family. She was only ten years old when the family decided to save her from the foster home. Interestingly enough, even under the tough conditions of the foster home and the constant moving with her new family, she had managed to keep a good grade point average and stay in contact with her friends._

 _Now she was back._

 _And she seemed happy._

 _Killian pushed through the crowd and finally broke free, falling down to his knees from the slight shove Neal gave him, which made his books slide across the tile. Emma stopped talking to her long lost friend, Ruby, and turned to notice Killian on the floor and his books next to her feet. The crowd went silent to watch what Emma was going to do. She was a big shot now - rich and living the life everyone wanted. Right?_

 _Killian stared at Emma with his dark blue orbs as he cleared his throat and began to collect his books, breaking their eye contact. He noticed her quickly look around - at the student body who was staring at her and asking themselves if she was going to stare, walk away, or help him out. No one knew why she came back to Maine, and they intended to find out in the next few seconds. Killian shook his head and straightened his books out in his lap before beginning to stand up, but suddenly her hand wrapped around his bicep and she pulled him up beside her. There were some gasps from the crowd of students - no one had expected Emma to help the likes of Killian off the floor, especially not since she was in the higher society now._

 _The bell rang, and the students began to shuffle away into their classes, leaving behind Emma, Neal, and Killian. Killian sent Neal a furious look, one that made Neal understand Killian's confusion for why he didn't get help picking up his books by his best friend. He turned away from Neal and met Emma's gaze, letting an embarrassed smile form on his face, "Thank you."_

" _How have you been, Killian? I've missed you." the words fell out of her mouth._

 _He froze at her words, suddenly feeling his cheeks flushing a bright red like he had just felt the most warmth he ever would. She had missed him. Emma Swan had thought about him in the past three years she had been gone._

" _I've missed everything, the school, my friends, even the homework if you can believe that." she laughed._

 _Oh._

" _We missed you, too." Killian laughed._

 _Neal cleared his throat, "Hi, Emma."_

" _Neal, right? Hey."_

 _Killian stepped towards Emma as he heard footsteps coming down the empty hallway. He shoved her aside and into a janitor's closet, leaving Neal behind. They stood quietly in the darkened closet as they heard Gold's voice ring through the hallway._

" _Mr. Cassidy, class now."_

" _Yes, Principal Gold."_

 _Emma snickered a little before Killian grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the closet with him. He stared at her with wide eyes - she was even more beautiful than she had been when she left. She was absolutely glowing with beauty. He let his eyes fall to her lips and then adverted them back to her eyes, which were sparkling, "Why'd you come back to this place?"_

 _She stayed silent and flicked her eyes at the floor, as he continued, "I mean, you don't have to tell me, but if you wanna tell someone,-"_

" _I was put back into the foster system a few months ago."_

 _At her words, he paused everything - even his breathing. Then why was she acting like she was living the best life?_

 _He muttered to her, "I'm sorry."_

" _No, no. It's fine, I'm fine, Killian," she said before clearing her throat, "My birth parents came forward."_

 _This, this was the beginning of a friendship that they didn't think would turn into much more._

* * *

Killian sat down at the bar and sipped his rum. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, closing his eyes and remembering where it all went down.

* * *

 _May 2006_

 _He heard a knock on his front door. He threw on his leather jacket and headed for the door - he was supposed to be meeting Emma and then the two were to go hang out with Neal. When he opened the door, though, it wasn't Emma. It was Neal, and he was carrying a suitcase._

" _What are you doing with that?" Killian laughed._

 _Neal sent him a pouty face and stepped inside Killian's house. He kicked the door shut behind him and placed the suitcase on the ground, and without looking back at Killian, he said, "I'm moving away. To New York."_

" _What?"_

 _Neal turned around and stuck his hands in his jean pockets, "My dad got a job up there."_

" _Why can't you stay here with me?"_

" _Dude, life has a funny way of working. This sucks, but hopefully we'll see each other sometime in the future." Neal shrugged._

 _Before Killian could reply, there was a knock on his front door. He turned and opened it to a cheerful and smiling Emma, who instantly lost her smile when she caught sight of a sad Neal. She stepped inside and looked at him, "What's wrong, Neal?"_

" _New York." Killian answered._

 _Neal shrugged and nodded, "I leave in an hour."_

" _Neal, I know it's tough moving, especially to a big city. I've done it. It's hard to adapt to the new place and you might struggle to make friends, but-"_

" _I don't want to make new friends, I want to stay here with you two." Neal interrupted her._

 _She placed a hand on his arm, "It'll all be okay, I promise."_

 _Neal froze and stared at her hand that was tightly wrapped around his arm. A sudden warmth soared through his body, and Killian could notice it. Killian cleared his throat and hit Neal playfully in the arm, making Emma's hand fall to her side, "Just call me everyday. You're gonna be fine. Who knows, maybe you'll come back?"_

 _Neal nodded but moved his gaze to Emma, who was still smiling warmly, "Thanks for being my friend, Emma. I hope we can see each other in the future."_

 _Killian felt jealous as he watched Neal wrap his arms around Emma's body, to which she hugged him back reluctantly. They all knew that Emma was closer to Killian, and he had yet to get a hug from her. He could feel his cheeks growing a dark pink so he turned away and picked up Neal's suitcase. By the time he turned around, they were done hugging, and Neal was staring at him and waiting for a goodbye. Killian held his fist up and let Neal fist bump him. Neal nodded as he grabbed the suitcase from Killian's hand and looked at Emma, who was appreciating their goodbye. Emma caught a quick wink from Neal, who ran out the front door after his bold wink. The front door shut behind him, and Emma was left alone with Killian, who was silent and still staring at the door._

" _I think it might be best for you to have some time alone, Killian."_

 _He didn't reply, but he just nodded and watched as she left his house._

* * *

Killian downed his fourth cup of rum. Yes, he felt guilty because he didn't properly say goodbye to his best friend. But, the amount of guilt he felt for that was no match for the amount of guilt he felt for the incident at _the_ party.

* * *

 _April 2010_

 _People continued to flood into his house, some he knew, some he didn't._

" _Senior year, baby!" Killian yelled through the hallway of his house._

 _He threw beers across the crowd and laughed to himself. He didn't know where Emma was, he hadn't know for the past hour. All he knew was that she was still there. Killian threw the last beer up in the air and caught it himself, before cutting into it and gulping the entire thing down._

 _His parents left the night before for a week's vacation in Hawaii, and he chose to stay home. He had promised not to throw a party or misbehave, but what senior doesn't throw a party? It was the end of the year, prom was coming up, graduation was nearing, and summer was close. All the right reasons to throw a party._

 _The crowd cheered as he threw the empty beer can on the ground and jumped off the dining room table. Killian wiped his mouth with his forearm and then ran his free hand through his dark hair. He greeted some of the people who just walked in and made his way to the backyard to search for Emma. In search of her, he bumped into his friend, Ripley Smee._

" _Smee!" he patted his friend's back and started a conversation with him._

 _Inside, however, was where Emma was. She slipped down the stairs and rolled her eyes at the crowd of people in her boyfriend's house. She slipped past them and grabbed a beer for herself - the first of the night. She had already been there for a few hours, but this is when the fun was just beginning. Emma made her way through the crowd once more and sat down on the bottom stair, facing the door. She caught sight of one of Killian's friends, Lacey French, who came and sat down beside her. She was clearly drunk as hell._

" _Hello, Emma." Lacey said as she hiccupped._

" _Hi, Lacey. What are you drinking?" Emma asked, raising an eyebrow. She gulped down the rest of her beer and threw it in the nearby trashcan without standing up._

 _Lacey held the cup in front of Emma's face and said, "It's a mixture of vodka, beer, and rum, with a secret ingredient from Will."_

" _Secret ingredient?"_

 _Lacey nodded, "Try some."_

 _Emma shook her head and stood up, "No thanks."_

 _Lacey stood up beside her and held the cup even closer to Emma's face, "One sip."_

 _Emma shook her head again, before she heard the front door open once more behind them. She turned around and caught a glance at a familiar face walk inside the house, her mouth dropping and her eyes widening._

 _It was Neal. Neal Cassidy._

 _She turned towards Lacey, who was confused but still determined to have Emma take a sip of Will's famous concoction._

 _Emma eyed the red cup, and Lacey said, "It will relieve allllllll of your stress."_

 _She stared down the red cup and then turned back to see Neal coming towards them, before she grabbed the cup from Lacey's hand, downed the entire thing, and ran through the crowd in search of Killian._

 _She was in such a state of shock, that all that mattered was finding Killian._

 _Emma never spoke of_ it _. Never had she told Killian that when Neal left back in eighth grade, she had felt something for him. But she was with Killian now, so it didn't matter. However, when she saw Neal walk in after four years of not seeing him, all the feelings she had hidden away for so long came rushing back. She trudged through the dining room and out the backyard door. She scanned the yard and found Killian talking to Smee. When she started for them, she was tapped on the shoulder by Lacey once more, who had a full cup of the same concoction._

" _Will said you looked stressed," she smiled, "He said to drink this."_

 _Before Emma could shake her head no, she saw Neal behind Lacey, heading to come outside. In utter confusion, she took the drink and swallowed it down, coughing afterwards and then pushing Lacey into Neal, before she ran to Killian._

 _She tried desperately to make it through the crowd of people and over to Killian, but whatever she had just drank was really getting to her. Emma fell to her knees and grabbed her head, which was pounding to the beat of the music. She shut her eyes tightly and ran her fingers through her long golden locks, before she suddenly felt water in her eyes. She opened her wet eyes and looked up to search for Killian, and hopefully find him, but her vision was becoming blurrier, her head was becoming more pained, and her eyes were drowning with more tears, by the minute._

 _Emma felt a hand wrap around her arm, helping her stand and steady her body. She couldn't see who the hell was helping her. She quickly yelled a faint, "Killian!", which didn't really go that far considering the fact that she was drugged with some dangerous substance and some stranger was holding her by the arm. When no one answered her call for her boyfriend, she began to cry again, but then she instantly felt lips on hers. It was a more savory kiss than a quick one - one that seemed to stop time and problems. She let herself cave into the kiss, wrapping her arms around whoever it was and pushing her body towards them._

" _Killian, is that you?" she said, "Will gave me this drink and it was drugged and I was looking for you-"_

" _Shhhh."_

 _The hand that was tangled in her hair only moments ago, wrapped around her waist and guided her towards the door to go into the house._

 _By that time, Killian was finished with Smee and his search for Emma continued. He headed through the crowd and towards the back door, where he spotted Emma leaning on a black-haired stranger. Before Killian could get to them, they were inside the house and beginning for the stairs. He ran helplessly through the crowd, something had just kicked his adrenaline and he was determined to get her safe. When he made it to the stairs, he could see neither of them in his sight. He knocked on the wall of doors until he found the one to his parent's bedroom was locked. He forcefully banged on the door until he pushed it open, revealing a sight he'd never expected to see._

 _It was Neal. Neal Cassidy. His best friend from sixth grade, who moved away to New York and made him jealous over a hug with Emma. He was sat on the bed and leaned over Emma's body, which was now only covered in a silky nightgown his mother had worn once or twice. Neal's right hand was brushing through her hair and his left was around her forearm. Her eyes were shut, and Killian could tell that she was either in pain, super drunk, or something happened. His body wouldn't move, he was unable to rush into the room and punch Neal, who he thought was his best friend. He hated himself so much for the fact that he couldn't move to go help his girlfriend and all the terror that was happening right before his eyes was still going on. Neal bent down and kissed Emma's lips lightly, and that's what struck him. Killian bolted into the room and yanked Neal off the bed, pulling him out of the bedroom and into the hallway. He held him up against the wall and yelled, "What the hell?"_

" _Killian, you don't understand! Let me explain-"_

" _I'll pass on all the heated details, mate." Killian said, raising his fist._

 _Neal guarded his face, "It's not what you think, man! I wasn't_ trying _anything-"_

" _It sure as hell looked like it." Killian punched Neal's stomach. He let out a wretched sound, more painful than the pain he was enduring it seemed._

 _Killian dropped him to the floor and pushed him towards the stairs, "Why are you even here?"_

" _I came to visit, I'm on spring break at school in the city. I go back tomorrow." Neal spit out._

" _And you thought it was best to come here and try to get with my girlfriend?"_

 _Neal shook his head, "That's not my motive at all! Killian, listen to me, I didn't do anything and I wasn't planning on it either."_

" _Just get out. The only truth I know is what I saw with my own eyes. Don't ever come back," Killian said, "Get out."_

 _Neal groaned as he punched the wall, "But-", and then he just gave up and left the party. Killian rushed back into the bedroom and right to Emma's side, before he rubbed her arms and kissed her forehead. She opened her eyes and whispered with a smile, "Killian?"_

" _Mhm, love?"_

" _Why don't you always kiss like that?"_

 _He was infuriated with Neal, but he had to make sure she didn't know it was him. Then the dumb, stupid idea hit him. And he responded, "I never knew you liked it that way. It was something new."_

* * *

From that moment and to this day, Emma never knew that it was Neal who kissed her and did whatever he did behind that locked door. It wasn't Killian.

The guilt that built up over the years of keeping this secret was strong enough to break them apart. And it did. The guilt was part if the reason he left for Europe.

And the guilt was also part of the reason he came back.

* * *

 **A/N: Woah. Review please?**


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